Tag: anxiety

What has breaking a rib taught me?

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So 4 weeks ago today, a freak accident whilst adjusting a student left me with a broken rib. Now me being me, what do I do? “Oh its nothing… but ow its really sore… stop being a baby, suck it up and carry on!” I carried on teaching the class, ignoring my own pain and denying it was ‘that’ bad.

Next morning I wake up and my whole side is black with bruising, I am in severe pain but I just shrug it off, ignore my body telling me to stop and seek medical attention… for 2 weeks. I even attended a training weekend! Admittedly I did have to sit in the corner for most of the second day as I was feeling sick with pain.IMG_3034

It took some convincing to get me to actually check it out and when I did it was a reality check. I am not superwoman, I can’t just carry on regardless. This stubbornness to stop comes from my time dancing where admitting you were injured may jeopardise your position so you just get a load of steroid injections and continue. It is also the reason dancers (especially ballet dancers) end up broken by the time they retire at if your lucky 35ish. I am not condoning this behaviour and something needs to happen in the industry to give dancers more stability and support so they don’t feel pressured into doing this.

Anyway, sorry I got side tracked! The point is my mind went into this way of thinking automatically. Even though I spend every single day telling people to listen to their bodies and not to push themselves, to stop if there I any pain… And this is fine, in my regular practice I am mindful and aware of my body but for some reason when it comes to actual injury I know the theory but when push comes to shove I struggle to implement this for myself.

However anyone who has broken a rib knows that the pain is such that even breathing normally feels like your dying so carrying on ignoring it was not going to be sustainable and I was forced to stop my own practice completely and reduce my teaching schedule significantly.

and what happened?

Nothing, the world has not stopped spinning, no catastrophes have occurred…I am still here and haven’t had any kind of mental breakdown.

You see it was fear that was preventing me from looking after myself. Yoga is the only way I can keep myself relatively sane, it’s what got me from being a revolving door patient in mental health services as a shadow to living a full life and re-finding myself. IMG_0854(ok that sounds cheesy but its true so deal with it. It was my fear that taking away my physical practice and pranayama would send my back to the dark days. That everything would suddenly fall apart. I’m not saying yoga has made my life perfect by any means, every day is still a struggle, but the thought of moving backwards was worse than putting up with excruciating pain.

I learnt that I can just practice my meditation and the different mind set that comes with a yoga practice can carry me through. I can actually do this on my own, it is me doing it, the yoga is helping but its a tool… holding my hand rather than carrying me.

My next worry – how am I going to teach without moving?! How can I still pay my rent?… more on that tomorrow!

Update! A year ago I was mid-yoga teacher training…so what’s happening now?

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Hi everyone,

It has been a long time since I’ve given you guys an update, so figured it was time to take stock and review what I have achieved over the past year.

This time last year I was midway through my yoga teacher training with YogaLondon. I yogi-toeswas super nervous, didn’t think I’d be able to pass the exams and thought it was highly unlikely I’d be able to actually lead a class. I cannot quite believe how far I have come in such a short amount of time!

There have been ups and downs, moments where I have doubted myself and my teaching, a few negative experiences too, but all in all becoming a yoga teacher has been the best decision I ever made. My confidence has grown, I’m finding my own voice, learning so much and meeting the most amazing people along the way.

My classes are growing, I am teaching in multiple venues, and formats which is amazing and it just gets better and better, the more I learn, the more I realise I have to learn. Each and every new yogi or yogini who attends my classes has something to teach me, and help improve my teaching. I am excited to be just at the very beginning of my career. teaching 1You finish your teacher training and that is the starting point, the real learning happens on the job. Initially you are learning the art of teaching and beginning to find a unique teaching style but once you feel confident to deliver a safe asana class, that’s when the real teaching of yoga starts, when you can allow your students the time and space for their own discoveries and begin to bring in deeper elements to give them the tools to progress.

I have trained as a pregnancy teacher, begun my 500hrs training, my ‘yoga bookshelf’ is overflowing. I have taught my first workshop, taught at my first class at a festival, and been to some exciting venues doing cover work. I completed my Reiki Level 1 a couple of weeks back with a friend and student. (this was amazing and I will be writing about this in the near future… keep a look out!)

IMG_2910Business wise it has been a baptism of fire! I had no clue at all what I was doing when I first qualified… ok I still have no idea what I’m doing but I feel more confident in finding the right people to help me and I’m getting by with less terror and panic. We will see how long this lasts when I attempt to do my tax return!

So what’s next?

I plan to complete my 500hr training by this time next year. I have several workshops planned to deliver for late summer/early autumn. I am beginning to investigate doing more corporate classes. I have just hired a new venue to replace one which wasn’t working too well for me. Two new classes are starting on the 26th May – Prenatal yoga 6:00pm -7:15pm and a vinyasa flow class 7:30pm -8:30pm both held in Tooting at Tooting Methodist Church Hall in Longmead Road, every Friday. See classes page for more details. There is so much I want to do and so little time! So I’m aiming to take each day as it comes and really live in the moment, focusing on the positives and aiming to be kind and compassionate to myself as well as everyone else.012491df7cc5c9a45db9b04bf17d77b9f56ab1c5a7

Trouble Sleeping?

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Does sleep seem illusive? Are you lying awake watching the time go by, getting closer and closer to the time you need to get up? Well you’re not alone! I personally struggle with sleep problems but it’s something I am working on. Increasingly friends and students are asking me how to cope with insomnia.

3 main issues seem to be:IMG_3775

  • Falling asleep
  • Frequent waking or nightmares
  • Having slept but waking up exhausted

Sleep is becoming more and more challenging for many of us as our lives become busier and more stressful and our lifestyles more sedentary. Technology increasingly invades every aspect of our lives. There is less and less time to stop, unwind and process our day as we are constantly bombarded with emails, texts, photos, games, social media… need I go on?

We should all know the general guidelines for healthy sleep;

  • Avoid using technology or anything with a blue light for 1hr before bed
  • Make sure the environment is calm and clutter free
  • Take a warm bath
  • Sleep t regular times / create routine
  • Cut down on caffeine and smoking
  • Write a to do list for the next day to feel prepared and reduce anxiety

However even if we get all these things right, sleep can be hard to come by.

So…. Can yoga help?img_7943

Practicing yoga techniques before bed can be very helpful. Here are some options you can choose from. Or better yet try them all! One of the most important aspects is making sure you create a regular routine, 5 mins everyday is better than 1hr every now and then.

  1. Do some gentle asana practice followed by yoga nidra (video coming soon)
  2. Meditation or mindfulness practices.
    • Benefits include, stress reduction,self awareness, acceptance and calming the nervous system.
    • Sit or lie in a comfortable position and begin to focus on the breath. Notice any thoughts that come into the mind and let them go. Accept you having this thought – no judgements – no critisisms – just allow it to pass without getting caught up in it and refocus on the breath. The idea is to practice noticing when you get distracted and returning to the concentration.
    • Start with a short amount of time and work up, even just a minute if you have never practiced mindfulness before.
  3. Another technique (which is not really yoga) is to write 3 pages in a journal – it doesn’t matter what it is that you write, just get everything out – don’t over think it, its a stream of consciousness. I first started doing this as ‘Morning pages’ as described here Morning Pages However I have found that doing this just before bed is IMG_0216really helpful to ’empty’ the head. I have found it interesting to do the practice before bed and in the morning as it can be amazing to see the shift in perspective after sleep.

Do you have any other strategies that help you?

Harri

 

You’ve finished your Yoga Teacher Training…but can you actually teach?

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teaching 1It has been nearly a month since I completed my 200hrs Yoga Teacher Training with YogaLondon (highly recommended). The first few days I was on a high – I’d just graduated and felt I was ready to launch myself into teaching. A week later I was full of doubts!

‘You’ve finished your YTT… but can you actually teach real people?’ This was what was going round and round in my head. Friends and family had become fed up of being experimented on relentlessly during my training, so any teaching practice since had involved teaching my imaginary student, using my loud teacher voice, in the living room whilst my cat was either trying to sleep on my mat or join in. I’m pretty sure the neighbours think I’m insane!

I was starting to feel quite panicky about the prospect of teaching my first class. What if I just freeze? What if I can’t remember my sequencing? What if my class is boring and my students don’t want to come back? What if? What if?

So what actually happened? Arriving I felt quite anxious but setting up the room and greeting the students I somehow lost all those fears and doubts. It was amazing, I absolutely loved teaching. I felt prepared, nothing I had predicted happened. The class went well, with a nice flow and all the students worked really hard. It wasn’t a struggle, it just felt so natural. I had managed to offer appropriate modifications and alternative asana for those with injuries,everyone was smiling. The feedback I got at the end of class was really positive, everyone said they enjoyed it and even asked if I taught other classes!I couldn’t have asked for a better experience.

5 Things about teaching my first class.

  • When you are not talking, it is very silent – this can be disconcerting, but remember – when you are participating in class the silence is nice. The students like to have a bit of space and time to just be, to explore the asana and how it feels.
  • If you ask a question, it’s likely no-one will say anything at first. This is okay, just carry on, they do start responding once you gain their trust!
  • Don’t be afraid to challenge your students – emphasising the process of exploring where their individual challenges are and working on those. It’s the journey – not the destination.
  • In savasana some people won’t close their eyes. That’s okay…it might make you feel uncomfortable, like you are being watched BUT it’s better the student feels comfortable! This is their time, you don’t want them feeling on edge! Hopefully in time they will learn to feel safe in the space and completely relax.
  • My favourite moment? Bringing them out of savasana – everyone looks so peaceful. Bringing the awareness back to the body, wiggling their toes and fingers, it’s amazing to see these tiny movements as they reconnect.teaching 2

So if you are prone to anxiety, like me, and you have just qualified then really don’t worry. It is completely normal to have some doubts and fears but dont let the what if’s stop you.”Paralysis by over analysis is deadly” Assuming you’ve had good quality training there really is nothing to worry about.

Good Luck – Harri x

What is this Blog all about?

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Firstly, welcome. I’m Harri, a 29-year-old newly qualified yoga teacher! I’m super excited about sharing my yoga life with you.

You can see my journey from having just left teacher training, (with YogaLondon who I highly recommend) to full-time yoga teacher! This could take years or never happen at all but my blog will show how I get on.

I’ll be sharing bits and bobs about my own practice and how I develop as a yoga teacher. I want to keep things real I’m not going to make everything all fluffy. There is this odd stereotype of yoga teachers being these happy, floaty people who just meditate their problems away – and whilst there might be some like that – I’ve never met one! When things get tough or when things are amazing I’ll always be true to myself and let you into a little glimpse of what it’s really like.

I will be giving useful pointers and teaching cues as guides for key asana (postures) as well as ways to incorporate yoga into everyday modern life, using some yoga philosophy and trying to explain some of the concepts which are more alien to people from traditional western backgrounds. Maybe I will throw in a bit of anatomy here and there…don’t worry, nothing too tricky.

I have found mindfulness and compassionate mind training invaluable in my personal fight against post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety and depression. These concepts can be used by anyone to help with …well pretty much anything! As they fit in so nicely with yogic principles and meditation, I think it would be good to give some ideas about how to use these techniques.

The importance of wellbeing in both body and mind is close to my heart. As I become more confident with blogging I might share some of my story and how yoga has changed my life as I’m sure it could help others to see that things can get better, as long as you have the right tools. We will see how it goes.

On a lighter note! I will also share some of my yummy vegetarian recipes which are healthy, balanced and nutritious…but might throw in a few naughty ones too.

Love and Light

Harri xx